This book is the science behind Lie to Me. From breaking the law to breaking a promise, how do people lie and how can they be caught. All 20 years of Ekman’s knowledge in this field is encapsulated inside this fantastic book.
When people lie, their most evident, easy-to-see expressions, which people pay most attention to, are often the false ones. ~ Telling Lies
Who is Dr. Paul Ekman
Dr. Paul Ekman is a psychologist who has been a pioneer in the study of emotions and their relation to facial expressions. He is considered one of the 100 most eminent psychologists of the twentieth century. The character Cal Lightman of the television series Lie to Me is loosely based on him and his work. More on Ekman is detailed here: http://www.paulekman.com/ – Cutting edge behavioural science for real world applications
The Truth is Written All Over Our Faces – Lie to Me
Lie to Me – the TV series
Lie to Me, is about Dr. Cal Lightman (Tim Roth) and his colleagues in The Lightman Group accepting assignments from third parties (commonly local and federal law enforcement), and assisting in investigations, reaching the truth through applied psychology: interpreting microexpressions, through the Facial Action Coding System, and body language.
Me (Ernest) reading Telling Lies – “I give this book 5/5 stars!”
Ok so you can tell I enjoy Lie to Me for all the WEALTH of educational, useful and practical material this show offers. The book Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage, Third Edition is a companion to the show’s science. It digs deep into the research behind the accepted theories and introduces the reader to work Ekman done with the Secret Service, FBI, CIA etc… There are also extras which are not in the show like the difference between “manipulators” and “illustrators”.
Manipulators are hard to control and people cannot stop doing them for very long, especially when they are relaxed. They include all those movements in which one part of the body grooms, massages, rubs, holds, pinches, picks, scratches, or otherwise manipulates another body part. For example; covering the eyes was common among patients who felt shame. Also people have a tendancy to move forward with interest or anger and backward with fear or disgust.
Illustrators however are called by the name because they illustrate speech as it is spoken. The best clue to deceit is when the number of illustrators changes from the norm. For example: people tend to illustrate more then usual when they are furious, horrified, very agitated, distressed, or excitedly enthused. Also the opposite applies. Knowing one’s common illustrators will help you understand what state of mind they are in.
Emblems however are common signs like the finger or the shrug which everyone knows what these mean. Emblematic slips happen subconsciously in response to emotion. Where emblems occur in presentation area (between the waist and the neck area) emblematic slips are never performed in the presentation area. Best indicator is to remember that when “emblematic slips” increase, illustrators decrease.
These indicators are part of the detecting deceit from Words, Voice, or Body group. If you are suspicious of a lie, pay more attention to the voice and body. If you can’t pick up the clues, you can always turn to a lie detector test. The voice, like the face, is tied to the areas of the brain involved in emotion and is a great indicator. You might want to check out The Invention of Lying which gives viewers a comical yet revealing truth about the influence of lying and it’s impact on our society.
More to come
“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. And like that, poof. He’s gone.” ~ Verbal / Keyser Soze – The Usual Suspects
I started learning about clues to deceit et al some time ago because I was interested in catching lie’s people tell to take advantage of someone. Having been a victim several times, I decided to take action. Since then I have a number of interesting books on body language, micro expressions and practised on Dr. Paul Ekman’s Facial Action Coding System (FACS) software to improve my cognition in categorizing facial behaviors based on the muscles that produce them.
I wanted to know with more accuracy who is “full of it” and who is telling the truth.
I plan to blog more about deceit, body language and micro expressions in the coming months. I believe understanding the people around you is an important trait which one can masture to help with building better rapport, friendship, relationship and to be in a position to stop liars from misleading you. Wouldn’t it be great to know if that sales man just wants a quick sale and isn’t interested in your needs or whether that deal is shonky, and / or misleading.
Essentially, this knowledge helps you make better informed decisions about practically anything in your life. That’s something worth knowing!
Body language is a fascinating topic. It has always been on my top topics of interest. Body language is a form of non-verbal communication which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. We humans send and interpret such signals subconsciously. And thus is where the power of being able to consciously decipher and make sense of body language come in.
Everybody Lies ~ Lie to Me
In a previous post I delved into reading eye movements to help you become an effective communicator. This post complements the previous by helping you understand body language. Why? Because as John Borg attested, that human communication consists of 93 percent body language and paralinguistic cues, while only 7% of communication consists of words themselves. This means something extraordinary is happening under the layers of communication. Today, in our society we are primed with speaking skills and educated on the importance of good communication. Yet most of the magic happens beneath the spoken world.
Dr Paul Ekman’s research on microexpressions
Every person has 43 facial muscles that create the same expressions, says my favorite pioneering researcher in this space Dr. Paul Ekman. Unlike normal emotions which can last up to four seconds and are clearly yoked to the emotions on vocal and verbal display, “micro-expressions” are fleeting facial expressions that last between 1/25th and 1/15th of a second that occur when a person covers up an emotion. Something not even a poker face expert can avoid / control.
After 30 years of research in this field in Papua New Guinea with stone age tribes, Dr. Paul Ekman proved facial expressions of emotion are not culturally determined. They are universal across human cultures and thus biological in origin. Further, he summarized these 43 facials muscle types into 7 universal emotions. These 7 are scientifically proven to trigger the “same” muscles in each of our faces, backing up Charles Darwin’s theory that the facial expression of emotion was intrinsic.
This and more is documented in detail in Dr Paul Ekman’s book on emotions. Ekman examines and explains how, when and why we become emotional and how far we can change what we get emotional about; why we some people exude True Pheromones when others don’t; how to recognize and understand the subtlest signs of emotion both in ourselves and other people; and much more.
Lie to Me – TV show
Lie to Me was an intelligent series educating the viewer on micro expressions while wrapping the whole show in a 1 hour TV drama. I love watching this on my TV in the patio. I can do this because I have a patio tv mount. Based on the real-life scientific discoveries of mentioned Dr Paul Ekman, the series follows Dr Lightman (Tim Roth) and his team of deception experts as the assist law enforcement and government agencies to expose the truth behind the lies. If you want to be entertained and learn the art of body language & micro expressions then this show is a must. They even show photos of famous people caught lying. You can get all 3 seasons off Netflix or Amazon.
The truth is written all over our faces ~ Lie to Me
The 7 key emotions
Ekman determined that all humans share the following 7 emotions: Anger, Disgust, Fear, Happiness, Sadness, Surprise and Contempt. According to Ekman, emotions developed through evolution as a sign of letting others know we sensed danger. Being able to comprehend an emotion consciously can help you understand people better. The following is a visual representation of these 7 emotions using Dr. Cal Lightman (Tim Roth) from Lie to Me TV series.
Study these. Learn these signs off by heart. Then try to spot them in people you interact with daily and on television. You will get better and better over time till it becomes an automatic function in your brain.
Knowledge & Application
Having this power to detect the 7 signs will allow you to:
Identify when you should back off from a dangerous conversation before it turns nasty/violent.
Change topics when the other party gets irritated and/or out of patience.
Bring peace and safety to people who are afraid or scared.
Immerse yourself with people who feel true love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy towards you.
Help those that are have feelings of disadvantage, loss, and helplessness.
Catch a liar at work or in a social environment.
See whether that smile is truly genuine or fake.
Understand whether the other person has a lack of respect accompanied by a feeling of intense dislike towards you.
Be in a better control of situations within your environment and adjust accordingly to best meet satisfying objectives.
It is amazing how learning to recognize these 7 simple emotions can drastically alter your lifestyle and bring better clarity in human interaction. If you are like me you may be too outspoken and sometimes this can cause a clash if you questions their “real intent”. People lie. It’s that simple. And if you are confrontational about their lies then be ready for some clashing. So hold yourself back a bit 😉
Other microexpression signs to watch out for
A fake smile is usually shorter than two-thirds of a second or longer than four seconds.
Innocent people flash the most genuine surprise.
Guilty people flash an emotion of fear.
Fear held for longer is a sign of something being hidden.
To catch someone responsible watch how their brows and mouth move, and for how long. Prolonged surprise gives you a cue for further probing.
Be cautious of people who give you half-smile or smirk since this is an unmistakable expression of contempt and moral superiority – aka Killer Contempt.
In business, and especially Silicon Valley, you need to learn to be an effective communicator. An effective communicator is not someone who can waffle on for hours on end but someone who is effective in getting results from their communication. Extrovert or introvert, it doesn’t matter. An effective communicator gets heard & understood. If you are a great engineer but cannot effectively communicate then you are missing out on an important part of your career influence. Being able to communicate effectively is within everyone’s reach. It is something most humans are capable of doing and with the right tools can sharpen.
To be an effective communicator you need to learn & be always aware of the 3 human primary modes that people use to process thoughts during communication. They are Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic. Just like being right-handed primary, each of us uses one of the 3 modes as our primary form to convey messages during communication. Understanding which one the person you are speaking with is using is a step forward to being a better communicator.
Primary modes
The following applies for right-handed people. For left-handed switch everything I tell you below to the other side i.e. right to left and left to right.
Visual
Speaker will primarily look up / up and to the side as they process information (answers to your questions). As if looking into the sky for an answer.
These people are known as “the fast talkers” because visual memories are a lot quicker to process and put into words.
Auditory
Speaker will primarily move their eyes left to right / right to left (from ear to ear) as “they need to hear” what they are saying.
These people are moderate speed talkers.
Kinesthetic
Speaker will primarily look down and to the right as “they need to feel” what they are saying.
Typically these people will be slow talkers because to feel their response before speaking, this takes longer to come out.
Kinesthetic people usually have beards around here.
Note: Don’t get confused with people looking down and to the left – this is common when people are having internal chatter like reciting a preplanned script e.g. actors or individuals during an interview with a pre memorized script/s.
Communicating effectively
You may have come across individuals where you just couldn’t click together or something was not right after your discussion. Like you did not understand each other. There is a high chance this may have been the choice of words you used to communicate with. The other party’s primary mode of communication might have been different to yours and thus the two of you did not really understand each other hence the feeling of disconnect.
To avoid this happening again, try to recognize the other person’s primary human mode. Once recognized, add (or change) some words & sentences in your communication. It isn’t about changing what you say but how you say it.
Step 1 – Identify there (speaker’s) primary mode
Listen to their choice of words, how their eyes move and speed of speech. My previous post on understanding each other using primary human modes talks about other indicators you can use to get this information.
Ask about the weather “how is the weather today?” – always a favorite. Is the weather, sunny (visual), warm (kinesthetic) or windy (auditory). Or, “is your car” – yellow (visual), safe (kinesthetic – Volvo drivers) or noisy (auditory). etc… you get the drift right?
Step 2 – Add the appropriate “words” into your communication
Here is a list of keywords you can throw into all your communication in order to get a “better” message across and be heard or simply understood.
Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic
see
look
bright
clear
picture
foggy
view
clear
focused
dawn
reveal
illuminate
imagine
hazy
an eyeful
short sighted
sight for sore eyes
take a peek
tunnel vision
bird’s eye view
naked eye
paint a picture
heartell
sound
resonate
listen
silence
deaf
squeak
hush
roar
melody
make music
harmonize
tune in/out
rings a bell
quiet as a mouse
voiced an opinion
clear as a bell
give me your ear
loud and clear
purrs like a kitten
on another note
grasp
feel
hardun
feeling
concrete
scrape
solid
touch
get hold of
catch on
tap into
heated argument
pull some strings
sharp as a tack
smooth operator
make contact
throw out
firm foundation
get a handle on
get in touch with
hand in hand
hang in there
Step 3 – Add the appropriate “sentences” into your communication
Step it up a bit and use appropriate sentences to respond back with or ask questions. Some of the common ones you can use for each primary mode include:
Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Let’s look at it differently.
See how this works for you.
I can’t quite picture it.
Let’s draw a diagram or map.
I’d like to get a different perspective.
I never forget a face.
That sounds about right.
That rings a bell.
It’s coming through loud and clear.
Tune in to what I’m saying.
Clear as a bell.
That’s music to my ears.
That feels right to me.
I can’t get a grip on this.
Stay in touch.
Get in touch with.
That doesn’t sit right with me.
I have good feelings about this.
My gut is telling me.
I follow your drift.
Step 4 – Have fun!
Don’t forget that having fun is when you are having the most effective communication. Once you are connecting and communicating effectively with the other person doors open to opportunities and you really get to learn and grow from the experience. Everyone has a story to tell and once you are listening and communicating effectively the world is your oyster.
Has this helped you in any way? Please share your story below.
Working in Silicon Valley can be a rewarding experience for you. “Can be” because it all depends on you and where you work. Working in Silicon Valley is nothing like the Bravo TV show Start-Ups: Silicon Valley where all they did was party in a multi million $$ house in SF powered by Bravo network and in between pressed few keys and walla, millionaires. Far from it. Hacking & Hustling is what working in Silicon Valley is about. It’s about doing whatever it takes to get things done faster. No compromises. And if you get involved with the right startup, rewards in terms of accelerated education and potential financial returns await for you in the distance.
Things to get into order
If you just arrived to the valley or are planning to get here, I highly recommend you start with the basics. It by no means guarantees you a job but definitely increases your chances.
LinkedIn
LinkedIn is the business professionals network you should be on. LinkedIn is the worlds largest professional network with 225+ million members. If you haven’t heard of it you soon will. They are the Facebook for Business.
To-do list:
Setup your profile and fill it out listing your achievements. Anyone can just do a job under the wip. Few extend themselves. This shows through achievements.
Location matters – add “San Francisco” as your location. Even if you are not in the valley yet. This way you end up in LinkedIn searches.
Recommendations in your profile – this shows your work history is credible. People tend to fluff up their resumes and having credible people who aren’t your friends give you recommendation validates your story.
Keep it up to date. Use your LinkedIn feed (like Facebook) to post regularly on business related content.
This is something which showcases you. Your identity. If you can get your name as the domain name e.g. ernestsemerda.com is mine, than even better and you will reap additional SEO benefits.
On this profile page throw up links to your social networks, links to prior work like portfolio sites you built/designed and how someone can reach you. You may also integrate your blogs latest post and/or twitter feed widget. If you code you should have a link to your GitHub/Bitbucket account. Shows that you can code and understand the basics of distributed version control systems.
Blogs
Blogs are not dead. Nothing beats the education you will receive from this experience. Your communication skills will improve, dealing with people via the comments (good or bad) will improve and it will allow a potential employer to get inside your head to understand you better. Remember, this is your brand. Don’t blog about cats chasing ponies.
Quality Blogging requires attention, detail and skills. Anyone can throw up a rehashed article or something in 140 characters. However blogging in a world of attention deficit and over stimulated individuals is tough. Productivity requires focus. Focus leads to Flow. Flow leads to getting shit done. Blogs are not dead. Only focus is diminishing. So blog! If you can blog I am certain you are an articulate, focuses, productive peep.
Don’t forget to comment on industry related blogs so you can reap additional benefits of inbound links and show others you are an expert in your industry.
Twitter
I never believed in Twitter until i started using it. Twitter is a good way to connect with people fast. Use “Lists” to group industry people and companies. Lists are great and help you maintain focus in a world of tweets. Then engage daily via replies, favorites and retweets. Read up on twitter etiquette for standard protocols so you get the gist of this ecosystem.
Relationship building takes time. Never forget this. So engage early and frequently with true intention. If you do not have true intentions then you will become disinterested and fall off the wagon. Why do you want to come to Silicon Valley?
Klout calls itself as a standard of influence. Hook up all your online & social presence and use it as a guide to fine tune your social status of influence. This is more of a ruler than anything else. You always need a base to gauge your efforts.
You can see in the above picture my Klout score (58 as of writing this) and how it has steadily increased over time since I started using it early July. Remember this is a ruler to measure your social efforts.
A competitive landscape
In a competitive landscape like Silicon Valley, all this should eventually become habitual. Something you do daily to stay relevant & ahead in your industry. If this isn’t habitual, then build a habit of it. If this all feels too much for you than you are in the wrong industry. Or maybe you are not the right fit. Business in Silicon Valley is about people. You aren’t just selling your skills you are in the business of selling you. People want to know about you. So show and tell. If you’re interested in operating heavy machinery and want a high-paying job in the construction industry, you can Enhance Skills with 360 Telehandler Training.
This is a city where you are measured by your works. If you have something to show then show it off. Otherwise go back to your room, close the door and hack something cool you can show the world that you are a doer and not another dreamer that cannot execute.
Good luck with your journey!
We are hiring @ Medlert!
We are hiring! Come and work at Medlert. We are in the business of SAVING LIVES. We are a Startup in the Health industry. We’re looking for world-class engineers and exceptional individuals, who are mission-driven, that want to help change the world. Visit our career page and apply today: https://www.medlert.com/about-us/careers
Mountain View Voice is once again doing their yearly “Best of” 2013 survey of local businesses powered by the people of Mountain View. The Voice is a community newspaper published every Friday and available inside few of the local Mountain View businesses. Also online here: http://www.mv-voice.com/
This ballot sparked an internal review of the places my wife and I love in Mountain View. After casting my vote I thought I should also throw it up here to help any newbies to Mountain View. Not just what place but also why so you can understand deeper why these places rock.
The Best of Mountain View, 2013
Zagat (Google’s) score
I have included Zagat (Google’s) score for each place inc a link to their Google Profile so you can read the reviews and make up your own mind. “The ratings are on a 30-point scale, made up of ratings for defined areas including food, decor, service, and cost. (30 is the highest rating on the scale and 1 is the lowest)” wiki
Using the categories featured in The Voice Ballot, here are my favorite in no particular order. Note that most of these places are on Castro Street or in one of the side streets from Castro Street. Castro Street is basically downtown Mountain View.
BEST COFFEE HOUSE (INDEPENDENT) – Red Rock Coffee Company
I blogged about Red Rock in the past on The Road to Silicon Valley. 3 years later and I am still a regular at Red Rock. In my opinion, this is the best place for coffee. From great service to the quality & consistency in coffee and immediately drinkable. Think about that one for a second. How many coffee places can you think of which serve coffee that is immediately drinkable? A good coffee is part beans (materials) and part preparation. Most places over heat during preparation thus killing the taste. Red Rock always makes it perfectly good and ready to drink without burning your tongue.
BEST FINE DINING RESTAURANT – Chez Tj
Address: 938 Villa St, Mountain View, CA 94041 Hours: Saturday hours 5:30 pm–9:30 pm
Fine dining at it’s best and it has 1 Michelin star on it’s shoulders. Serves French and California cuisine in a converted Victorian house. The restaurant is laid out across multiple rooms inside the converted Victorian house giving it a very posh feel. The food is outstanding. We had their 7 coarse meal with wine pairing and walked away with our bellies full. Well satisfied with the service, quality & presentation of the food. But expect to pay a bit ($500-$700 for 2) for such fine dining.
My favorite Thai place. Also the only place where I get the same meal over and over and over again because it is outstanding and consistent in taste. Sweet & sour chicken with white rice. There aren’t many Thai places which make this meal as consistent and good tasting as Amarin Thai. For take away / “to go”, the meals are prepared really fast (under 10 mins) and they wont break your piggy bank at $10 to $15 per meal.
BEST SUSHI/JAPANESE RESTAURANT – Sushi Tomi
Address: 1051 E Main St, Tustin, CA 92780 Hours: For lunch and dinner after 5pm except Sunday
Every since being introduced to this place 4 years ago I have been hooked. The sushi is outstanding. I mean outstanding. If you are a fan of sushi you will know what good fresh quality sushi tastes like. This place has it. And their popularity for good sushi is seen when you go and dine in. The lines of people outside are a dead give away of the high demand. This is the place for sushi in Mountain View at a very good price. I am a fan of their dinner combination special – teriyaki salmon, salad, sashimi (salmon & tuna), rice and miso soup all for $18.
BEST SUSHI/JAPANESE RESTAURANT – Shabuway
Address: 180 Castro St, Mountain View, CA 94041 Hours: Lunch & Dinner weekdays and most hours on Weekends
If you are after a light dinner meal for a reasonable price (around $20 per head) which is also healthy then this is the place for you. Order the Koby lean beef plate which comes with a side of greens. You basically cook it all yourself in a hot-pot. Tastes great and is also a great experience. No reservations so get there early so you can get a table without waiting. Otherwise this place fills up pretty fast.
BEST GYM – 24 Hour Fitness Super Sport
Address: 2535 California Street Mountain View, CA 94040 Hours: 24 hours 7 days a week
This is nearly identical to Fitness First in Australia but much larger with more amenities. I think this may be where the idea for Fitness First came from 😉 As the name suggest this is a 24 hour gym. So you can go there anytime. I have trained as late as 2am before and it’s pretty damn quiet. This gym is usually packed before 8pm with a sweet time being 9pm (if you code you know this time is ok). After a good workout there is a pool, steam room, sauna and spa available to relax in. I find the steam room to be great after a good weights session. The only down side is that the steam room turns off after midnight.
BEST AUTO REPAIR – The Car Doctor
Address: 2235 Old Middlefield Way, Mountain View, CA 94043 Hours: 8am to 5pm Monday to Friday only
This is the BEST car shop I have ever had the pleasure dealing with. Most car mechanics are known for ripping customers off with phony car issues especially when a woman brings the car. Gary & Chris (owners) are the exception and are superb lads! I am comfortable sending my wife with the car to get it serviced there knowing she will be looked after and not ripped off. Everything is explained to detail so you know what needs fixing or servicing. The communication & trust here is the key to an amazing customer service from The Car Doctor.
BEST ICE CREAM/FROZEN YOGURT – Gelato Classico
Address: 241B Castro St, Mountain View, CA 94041 Hours: 11am to 11pm 7 days a week
I am addicted to this place. Their Gelatos are simply outstanding! My favorite is Tiramisu and it even has small bread/biscuits inside it. From the warm “welcome” of the owner to the yummy Gelatos, this is the place for Ice Cream in Mountain View. Actually I am yet to find a better ice cream shop outside Mountain View. The lines in the evening can get overwhelming spilling outside the shop down to the businesses next door. Sometimes the wait can be as long as 30 minutes but it is damn worth it! Get the medium size cup coz the small is not enough and you will be left wanting more!
BEST PIZZA – Amici’s East Coast Pizzeria
Address: 790 Castro St, Mountain View, CA 94041 Hours: 11am to 10pm Weekdays and till 11pm Weekends
I have been having a damn hard time finding a great pizza place in Silicon Valley. Most places suck when compared to the many great pizza places in Sydney, Australia. What is going on?? Tell me if you have found a kickass pizza place in the valley. Now Amici’s is the best in Mountain View. Their thin crust pizzas are easy on the belly (no dough to bloat you up) and tastes great, especially their Amici’s Combo (my fav). Price ($30 for large) is a tad above what I’d like to pay but ok to pay every now and then.
BEST BOOKSTORE – East-West Bookshop
Address: 324 Castro St, Mountain View, CA 94041 Hours: 11am to 10pm Weekdays and till 11pm/8pm Weekends
This is a place of Zen. From the vast array of books on topics of the mind to self-help to meditation to yoga to meditation bowls (metal & crystal). This place will make you feel at peace. If I ever need to calm my mind down I walk into this shop and the good energy here works wonders. There is also a large man-made water feature where you can sit in front and read a book. Every week you will also find all sort of spiritual folks running events in the back room.
Some fun inside East-West Bookshop with the Meditation Bowl
Napa Valley, the world famous wine growing region of California is a must for any wine enthusiast. Located only an hour north of San Francisco and 2 hours from South Bay, Napa Valley is a pleasant all day experience. Located in Napa Country, it rose to the first rank of wine regions with France by local winery Chateau Montelena winning the “Judgment of Paris” in 1976. The movie Bottle Shock documents the story in a comedy-drama when California defeated French wine in a blind taste test. Great movie to watch to get into the spirit of Napa Valley.
There are so many wineries to visit for wine tasting that you will not have the time in a single day or even a weekend to visit and experience all. It is something you should do over the course of few months while you work out of Silicon Valley. Wine tastings range from 20-30 USD and you get to try up to 5 wines pending on the winery. It is worth upgrading your tasting to the premium/reserve (you have to ask) so you get to try the top end limited edition wines for additional 10-15 USD.
My favorite wineries in Napa Valley for enjoying wines
Before digging into my favorite wineries, something to keep in mind. Wines change year to year. So what was/is great for me when I went there might not be in few years time. You remember how there are great years and bad years in wines. Keep that in mind. Here is a list of all the wineries in Napa Valley – http://napavalley.com/wineries/alphalistings.html
Click for larger view
Take note of closing hours. The most important Once you get into the groove and start enjoying your time in the wine country time will fly. You do not want to arrive at a vineyard only to find out it is closed/closing for the day.
1. Silver Oak Cellars
The best Californian Cabernet Sauvignon I have ever tried hands down. There is only 1 wine tasting package and it includes wines as old as 8 years and over 100 USD per bottle.
We picked up a 12-year-old Cab here because it tasted sooooo good. Also the price reflected its vintage. If you love your cabs you will fall in love with Silver Oak wines.
My favorite wineries in Napa Valley for the environment / history
3. Chateau Montelena Winery
Chateau Montelena is where it all started for Napa Valley. This is where history was made when they won the “Judgment of Paris” in 1976 putting California on the map as a place of great wineries in the world. Also the architecture of this place is stunning.
Sterling Vineyards is an experience in itself. You get whisked by a Gondola lift up the mountain to Sterling’s wine processing plant. You do a self walk tour through the buildings stopping over at wine stations for a taste of different wines each time. You can choose the standard wine tasting (5 wines) or add the premium to it which includes an additional 3.
The only down side is that if you do not want to drink you still have to pay for the standard wine tasting experience since transport in the Gondola lift is included in the price.
As mentioned above, not only do they have great Cabs but there is something about this place which feels good to be inside, the atmosphere.
Where to eat in Napa Valley
Gott’s Roadside – Outdoor Burger & Beer. Not far from BV (Beaulieu Vineyard) and opposite to Merryvale Vineyards. 1207 Foothill Boulevard, Calistoga.
Buster’s Southern BBQ – You will smell it before you see it. The Tri-Tip Sandwich is their signature dish and really good. Watch out for the dude cooking BBQ outside and the Harleys parked around a shack. 933 Main Street, St. Helena.
Bouchon Bistro – A lot more upmarket than the 2 above. You need to book ahead but the food is great. It is the sister restaurant to the world-famous French Laundry (located few houses up the road). Their bakery next door is also great for macaroons. 6534 Washington St, Yountville.
Buster’s Southern BBQ’s Tri-Tip Sandwich
If your intent for the trip to Napa Valley is wine tasting than aim to eat at the 1st two above so you don’t burn wine tasting time. Maximise your time for wine tasting since most vineyards close at 5pm (that’s before the sun sets in summer). Otherwise if you want a romantic get away in the wine country and are staying locally there for the weekend than Bouchon or French Laundry is a good bet and plan to spend around 2-3 hours there pending on what you eat.
Before you head out to Napa Valley
Prepare for your trip
Watch Bottle Shock to get into the spirit of Napa Valley and get some history lessons.
Plan your route – plan to visit 3-4 wineries.
Take plenty of water to drink after each winery visit. Otherwise you will dehydrate from the grog and get a headache spoiling the day.
Plan your vineyard visits using maps.google.com so you can plan the route in an efficient manner.
Read below how to save yourself money!
Buying wines – save yourself money
Before you jump and buy a bottle or case of a wine you like, google it. You may find it cheaper. far cheaper, to buy it online. Hey the winery still gets their profits from the sale via these channels but you also get to save a lot of money.
I saved 40% buying Beaulieu Vineyard Private Reserve Georges de Latour Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley 07 from garyswine.com (note I have no affiliation with them). Also bought the The French Laundry Cookbook for 50% less from Amazon than at one of the popular wineries (no names mentioned) where it 1st caught my eye.
I’m sure you’ve wondered why sometimes we come across people we click with instantly and sometimes we struggle with others. Even after using common topics of interest like talking about them / their interests, their family, news et al, there is still something not sticking. You may walk away thinking it wasn’t meant to be or that geez that person was hard to communicate to. But what if it didn’t have to be like that and you can change it. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to “click” with everyone – of course it would! This is where understanding each others primary human mode of communication helps. Let’s dig into this further.
“There are three primary modes that people use to process thoughts (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic — both emotions and physical feelings), and remembered and imagined versions of each one. Understanding individuals primary mode can help you build rapport and connect with them.”
Understanding these primary modes and how to apply them is the secret recipe here.
So what does this all mean, an example
Let’s assume I’m a sales person going to sell you a car. After finding out what your primary mode is, I would use one of the following sales techniques to sell you the car.
a. Primary Visual: “seeing and reading” – I will say, imagine the look on people’s face as they see you driving in this red sporty car on a beautiful sunny day. Is this something you see yourself driving in?
b. Primary Auditory: “listening and speaking” – I will say, hear the growl of this V8 twin turbo engine as your plant your foot down. It’s pure horsepower. Throw your favorite track of Mozart or Guns’n’Roses on and it’s music to your ears even if you haven’t been to an ear wax removal clinic in a while. How does that sound?
c. Primary Kinesthetic: “touching and doing” – I will say, imagine yourself strapped in pure comfort into those body hugging Recaro bucket seats in this A class safety approved sports car – you know you are safe. You are bound to have a fun and an amazing time. How does that feel?
Did you notice the use of cue words specific to each primary mode? This doesn’t just apply to sales people. Each day when you speak to people you are always selling yourself, your ideas and stories through your communication.
If you are still skeptical, I’m sure you have heard stories of couples miscommunicating. It probably played out like this: wife to husband: “you’re not listening to me”, husband to wife: “I am, but you’re not seeing what I mean”. Right there; lay’s the key to that form of miscommunication. The wife is auditory and the husband visual. Of course the wife cannot see his point because she needs to hear it.
Understanding the person’s preference – how to use this knowledge
The “clues” to understanding a person’s preference mode are tied in eye movements and choices of words.
a. Eye movements
This applies for right-handed individuals. For left-handed the sides are switched.
Visual individual will always look up / up and to the side as they process information. They are also the fast talkers because visual thoughts are a lot quicker to put into words.
Auditory individual will move their eyes from ear to ear (left to right / right to left) as they need to hear what they are saying. This group is moderate speed talkers.
Kinesthetic individual will look down and to the right as they need to “feel” what they are saying. Typically these people will be slow talkers because to feel and speak is a longer process. Don’t get confused with people looking down and to the left – this is common when people are having internal chatter like reciting a preplanned script e.g. actors or during an interview – all types exhibit this behavior.
b. Choice of words Listen to the following used in one’s conversation and use the same choice of words to respond.
Visual
Let’s look at it differently.
See how this works for you.
I can’t quite picture it.
Let’s draw a diagram or map.
I’d like to get a different perspective.
I never forget a face.
Auditory
That sounds about right.
That rings a bell.
It’s coming through loud and clear.
Tune in to what I’m saying
Clear as a bell.
That’s music to my ears.
Kinesthetic
That feels right to me.
I can’t get a grip on this…
Stay in touch.
Get in touch with…
That doesn’t sit right with me.
I have good feelings about this.
My gut is telling me…
I follow your drift.
Don’t assume
Just like being right handed one can also be a mix of both sides. Do not make quick assumptions about a persons mode. A person can be a mix of modes like primary visual and secondary auditory, and so on. Understanding this will help you use the right choice of words in your communication at the right time and in no time you will be in a position able to hold a conversation with anyone and build rapport quickly.
Enjoy your new found knowledge and share your experience below in the comments section.
Yosemite National Park is a World Heritage Site internationally recognized for its spectacular granite cliffs, waterfalls, clear streams, Giant Sequoia groves and biological diversity. Always a favorite place of mine to visit for many good reasons.
Going back into nature has some sort of ancient coded connection to the seat of our soul. It feels good to be in Yosemite. Something about the spirit of Yosemite that pulls you back like a magnet.
Always something to do and see. From beautiful trail walks to stunning views of the mountains, waterfalls et al and sightings of wild animals like deer, coyote and bears.
Bears don’t attack humans like in Yellowstone. Unless you are fighting for a snickers bar with one. Never feed the bears. They are a large graceful smart creature to admire from a distance.
So this time round we had another great reason to go to Yosemite. My mum was in town (from Sydney, Australia) and we wanted to show her the spirit of Yosemite. The beauty of Yosemite which every year pulls us to visit and experience something new. If you got personal injury while driving somewhere on holiday, browse this site for personal injury attorney.
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About Yosemite Naional Park
Yosemite National Park is a United States National Park spanning eastern portions of Tuolumne, Mariposa and Madera counties in east central California, United States. Yosemite is internationally recognized for its spectacular granite cliffs, waterfalls, clear streams, Giant Sequoia groves, and biological diversity. Almost 95% of the park is designated wilderness.
“Only by going alone in silence, without baggage, can one truly get into the heart of the wilderness. All other travel is mere dust and hotels and baggage and chatter.” –John Muir in a letter to his wife Louie in July 1888
The trip to Yosemite National Park
If you live in Silicon Valley than expect to travel around 4 hours to get to Yosemite National Park. It a pleasant drive and plan at least one break along the way… at the Bass Pro Shop to recharge batteries and explore the shop.
Bass Pro Shops (Outdoor World)
Bass Pro shop is located in Manteca. Manteca is halfway on your journey to Yosemite – see map above. Bass Pro is a retailer of hunting, fishing, camping and related outdoor recreation merchandise stuffed animals and all sort of hunting gear. It is an experience in itself. If you decide to go fishing, make sure to wear fly fishing polarized sunglasses to read the water better. When you 1st walk in you will notice the sign that asks you to “check and have your weapons secured at the door”. Inside is a hunting shop mixed with a stuffed zoo!
Where to stay – Yosemite View Lodge
Yosemite View Lodge is situated on the edge of the majestic Merced River, with most rooms providing gorgeous views of the river from the comfort of your own balcony or outdoor spa.
View from our room at Yosemite View Lodge
Yosemite View Lodge is located at the base of the entry gate to Yosemite National Park. It is a 15 min drive from the gate through the part into the valley. It is an amazing drive. Which is why we love staying at Yosemite View Lodge. It gives us an opportunity each morning and evening to experience the wonders of Yosemite. The entry to the park is $20 per vehicle unlimited for 1 week – more of the park’s fees here.
So one night coming back to Yosemite View Lodge, we came across a buck with full-grown antlers. As we stopped, he walked past our car at a hand reach away. Other times we got to see coyotes and on Christmas eve a dozen deers galloping on the side of the road while it snowed. Simply stunning. Stuff you never get to see in such context if you stay inside Yosemite Village. You get to appreciate the drive back and look forward to it each day.
Great points about Yosemite View Lodge:
You sleep to the sound of waterfalls. Close the door to your balcony and it’s quieter. Open it and the sound of rushing water will relax your mind.
There is a gas fireplace inside that is made to look like a wood fireplace. Always a pleasure to come back to the room after being in the cold and start the fireplace. During winters this is a winner.
Cheap! Around $200-250 /room /night.
There is a spa in the bathroom.
Most nights you get a visit from room inspectors – 2 cute Raccoons.
Annoying bits
No Internet inside any of the rooms. Only in the main foyer and you have to pay $9 for 24 hrs for Internet connection rivaling that of dialup. No free hot spots anywhere in the valley either.
You will only find AT&T cell reception in the car park of Ahwahnee Hotel or on top of Glacier Point.
If you are picky about quality food than bring your own. Seriously.
What to do in Yosemite National Park
Experience what nature has to offer by hiking its trails.
The Yosemite Village is pleasantly placed in a valley surrounded by large mountains, waterfalls and plenty of greenery. Only 1 million years ago glaciers used to roam this valley. From the picture below you can imagine how glaciers user to roam this valley. Today waterfalls are left of their presence.
Yosemite Valley Visitor Center
First thing you should always do is drop by the Yosemite Valley Visitor Center. Open 9-5 daily. Go there to find out what trails are open and any warnings in the area – stay safe! Due to weather conditions (even in spring) some trails like The Four-Mile Trail can be half closed. So find out what is open and plan your hiking expedition from there. While at the Yosemite Valley Visitor Center watch the a 23 minute film titled “Spirit of Yosemite” presented in the theater behind the visitor center lobby.
Trails we Hiked in Yosemite
Me scanning the horizon on the Mirror Lake trail
Plenty of trails you can take. However this time round we only hiked the following.
The Four-Mile Trail
If you want to get amazing views of the valley this is the hike to do. Don’t be fooled by what sounds like a short trail. It is all up the mountain hiking. A very good work out for the glutes! Expect about 3-4 hours up the mountain and when you reach the top you will be at Glacier Point. More reading here: http://www.yosemitehikes.com/yosemite-valley/four-mile-trail/four-mile-trail.htm When close you can only go 2.6 or so miles. Still a great hike.
Distance: 4.7 miles (7.5 km) one way. Time: 3 hours and 2 coming back.
The Four-Mile Trail early in the hike
The Four-Mile Trail starts off like this
Breathtaking views half way up the trail
Only keeps getting better
Mirror Lake & Tenaya Canyon
This one is pretty flat and easy to do. It will take you deep into Yosemite forest and provide a range of lovely scenery along the river. If you really want to experience the mirror lakes glass like effects get there around 8am when the water is still, no wind and perfect lighting. More reading here: http://www.yosemitehikes.com/yosemite-valley/mirror-lake/mirror-lake.htm
Distance: 4 miles (6.4 km) to loop around. Time: 3 hours with small brakes for photos.
Mirror lake few mins from where the bus drops you off to start your hike
Distance: 2.25 miles (3.6 km) round trip. Time: 1-2 hours.
Casual walk and exploration hike. Maybe a bear is lurking by 😉
Local wild life is not afraid of humans
Ahwahnee Hotel
Once you have finished your hikes for the day, the Ahwahnee Hotel is a great place to drop by and kick back with a hot chocolate or coffee in front of a large communal fire place in this swanky hall (pictured below).
Ahwahnee Hotel was constructed from stone, concrete, wood and glass and opened in 1927. It is a premiere example of National Park Service rustic architecture, and was declared a National Historic Landmark in 1987. It is also a very expensive hotel to stay in but open to the public to drop in and use their open area for relaxing, reading a book near the many fire places and dine in their swanky restaurants.
Swanky hall where you can kick back and relax – tea is served at 4pm
Main dining restaurant open for lunch & dinner
And that pretty much wraps up a great trip to Yosemite!
Few final tips:
Do not speed through Yosemite National Park. Especially during summer. Many bears each year are killed by speeding drivers. Drive slow and take in the wonders of the beautiful Yosemite National Park.
Do not feed any animal. As cute and innocent as they look, it is not good for anyone. They are wild animals and teaching them to be dependant on human hand outs will teach them to be violent in the future to others when not fed. Especially bears; which must be put down in such cases.
Do not litter and do not take anything out of the National Park. Leave only with amazing memories and great photos.
Have fun!
Photography //for the photography nerd insiden you… all the pictures here were shot on a Canon 5D full-frame sensor through f2.8 L 24-70 mm lens & the tighter shallow depth of field pics through f1.4 50 mm fixed.
The good’ol topic of Transport. It’s going to be nearly 4 years since I have been in the valley. This has given me more than enough time to experience both forms of transport – train & road. Out of all the normal craziness that happens on road and track, 2 stand out like sore thumbs. And to newbies to the valley these 2 will most likely hang around like a bad smell. The 2 in question are Caltrain’s gallery trailer “rattlers” and the swarm of inconsiderate car drivers on the road.
The former will no doubt be fixed in the next few years when the “gallery trailers” are replaced with the new bombardier line; but the latter might take more time and maybe when the US Government invests in replacing human drivers with Google’s driverless cars. A machine will certainly be a better solution and improve road safety and reduce road rage. Let me expand with some tips on managing this.
Caltrain rattlers (gallery trailer)
I call the Caltrain “gallery trailer” fleet “rattlers”; because they will shake your body like a rattler snake shakes it’s tail. This gets annoying very fast when you spend long commutes and want to utilise your time on the train to do some computer work. You are literally bouncing in your seat, losing focus constantly, especially during express hour when the train is at its max speed. The gallery trailer is a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh and boy are they loud inside. I recommend you wear ear plugs to stop long term drum damage.
Loud! – wear ear plugs to protect your ears and bring some sanity back.
A bit about the network. The San Francisco Peninsula Commuter Corridor consists of double track CTC main line which runs between San Francisco and San Jose. A 47.5 mile track. And there is only 2 of them – one for each way; making “the action” known as hot and heavy especially during commute times. The JPB runs upwards of 96 commuter trains on Weekdays, with as little as 10 minutes separation between trains at peak commute hour.
1. Catch only the Bombardier BiLevel coaches (above pic on the right). They are far far better in ride quality. It’s like riding on a cushion of air at any speed. You can get your work done on these. They even have power outlets for your computer. You can also check out Quora for Caltrain hacks on where to sit to minimize noise & improve ride quality should you end up in the gallery trailer.
Typically the Bombardier are operated as “bullet train” (minimal stops) but super fast to get up and down the valley during peek hour commutes. Outside peek hour, it is back to the rattles. So if you are getting a rattler, shifting your boarding times by few minutes could yield a Bombardier.
2. Be prepared. There is chaos on these tracks. 2 tracks up and down the valley (fail). 1 accident anywhere on this line and it brings the whole network to a halt with major delays. Consistently.
I won’t even start on the Clipper system. That is another fail but not as bad as the gallery trailers.
Watch out for shitty drivers
So California is putting a stop to smartphone maps while driving. This extends the sms texting while driving and supposed holding your phone while driving. Half a year ago I was fined for holding my phone in my hand on speaker phone. Go figure. What I (and I am sure many people) would love to see is a crack down on the most common form of stupidity on the road. The failure to use blinkers. Inconsiderate drivers. There is a bucket load of them every single time you set out to venture on the road. I always say;
If you are good at driving than all you have to worry about is other drivers on the road.
Yes Good is a loose term, but you will know if you are good by your driving history record, how comfortable you feel behind the wheel and how well you react on the road. Btw, slow != safe. This is a daily reminder for me when I drive on the road and even more so when on foot crossing the road.
When I first arrived in the valley back in March 2009, I thought “hey drivers stop when I jay walk. So nice of them.”. Nice yes, but this is because of all the accidents and suing going on; as I soon found out from the locals. You learn about the accidents when you spend enough time on the major freeways like 101.
This is how accidents happen
Failure to use indicators. Each time I venture onto the road I come across a handful of these inconsiderate drivers. There is absolutely nothing funny about failing to use the indicator to let your fellow drivers and pedestrians know about your intentions. It is how accidents happen because an inconsiderate driver was lazy or incompetent to press that short lever to tell others on the road where they intend to go. This is how accidents happen on fast paced roads like 101. If you are ever injured in an accident, ask your doctor to prescribe cbd for pain management.
So next time you are about driving on the road pay careful attention to how many inconsiderate drivers you spot failing to use the indicator. You will be surprised On every short driving trip I see a handful of them and on longer trips it becomes mind gobbling that so many are allowed to do this yet holding a phone to check google maps or speak to someone on speaker phone is illegal.
If you think failure to use indicators is bad, watch out for “bumping”! Really not worth owning a nice car while living in the valley. That I will leave for another post. Car’s Cash For Junk Clunkers at 940 Spice Islands Dr, Sparks, NV 89431 (775) 367-7463 give their clients fair cash for cars.
Had this sitting around in my Google Docs for some time. Good idea to share these Linux security tips to help others secure their boxes. So here it is peeps.
Linux security – paranoid check-list
For direct access to your box, only use ssh. SSH is the most secure standard for both authentication (both host and user) and data protection (everything strongly encrypted, end-to-end).
Enable key-pairs as the only way to access your box. Don’t allow passworded logins. Most passwords are too short and sit (even if in hashed form) on many databases: your bank, your favorite retailer etc. My guide on SSH setup will guide you through this by setting in sshd_config.
PasswordAuthentication no
Run ssh on a high port. The reason is that a lot of security scanners will only scan the standard known-service ports or the lower range (1-1024 are privileged ports that only superuser can bind/listen to, so they are more attractive to hackers) So running on 43256 (there are 2^16 =~ 65k ports) is much safer.
In the firewall rules, limit access to your (and your customers) IP blocks, i.e. instead of 0.0.0.0/0 (all the internet) allow only from (say) 12.167.110.0/24 (specific block)
Control the users who are allowed entry to your server.
All administrative stuff is done as a known user (accountability) which used ‘sudo’ after you have authenticated in via SSH.
Use a second layer firewall (software firewall) in case the first goes down. On Linux you can use iptables with Gufw, one of the easiest firewall in the world, to manage the iptables.
sudo apt-get install gufw
Run logcheck, a periodic system log scanning that will email you any unusual event. logcheck comes with a very large rule-set of what can be safely ignored so it only emails when something really new and different shows up in the logs.
sudo apt-get install logcheck
sudo nano /etc/logcheck/logcheck.conf
# Add your email to SENDMAILTO
sudo -u logcheck logcheck # run a test
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